It's not about pretending you're someone you're not. One trick is to look at other people who act assertively and copy what they do. Learn to be assertiveīeing assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.
Think what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation. Be kind to yourselfīeing kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical. Try to build relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you. If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we're good at, which can help boost your mood. We're all good at something, whether it's cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. Here are some other simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself. You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".Īlso write some good things that other people say about you.Īim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week". Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts. Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you. To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping. Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things. In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe. If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.
Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves. Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem. Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.įor some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you. Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light.
It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves.īut when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.
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